Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
