1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Even my vagina gasped.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize