You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
