I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
