Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
