He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
