i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
