All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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