these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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