One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she was so not down for the gang bang
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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