they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my phone needs a breathalizer
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
