do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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