So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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