So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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