How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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