I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
