I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
