So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
