The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
