Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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