just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
