We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
