go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
