4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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