I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
