I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
