my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
