We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
