drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize