3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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