you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
