So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
