Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
