dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
