So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
