Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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