think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
