You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
