I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
