i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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