.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
