we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
