I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
