Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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