Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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