Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
