I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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