I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
