maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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