She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
