when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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