I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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