Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
