i would punch a child for taco bell
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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