I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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