Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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