3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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