its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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