I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
