Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
