what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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