those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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