He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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