I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
