He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize