She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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